It’s looking like the NFL’s Washington, DC franchise is gonna have to finally change their name: corporations want that now; not just American citizens!
Of course I have ideas for a new team name that isn’t insulting to Native Americans. Well, perhaps not as insulting as “Redskins”, and why not pick a different demographic to demean? I mean, how are us white people going to tolerate our intense insecurity without trashing others? We can’t name them after ourselves because who can spell Xenophobes, Assholes is inappropriate (insulting to sodomizers - although PepsiCo might wanna create a cola conserving machine called a SodaMiser), Orangemen is taken by Syracuse University, Prevaricators (or just Liars) actually isn’t bad for a DC team, Supremes might taken as a racial slur against Diana Ross or Motown - and should be reserved for Detroit in any case (hey! Maybe DC can take “Lions”, only spelled “Lyin’s”, and Detroit can have this one). Goodpeopleonbothsides - too expensive to stitch that onto every jersey.
Well, here’s some ideas to distribute the slur to other demographics:
1. Maybe move them to Tulsa and call them OK Boomers.
2. Rednecks.
3. Concussers (not a demographic slur, but this is an NFL team after all). Maybe the Braindead, or Flatliners? As a play on Wisconsin cheeseheads, fans could wear hats fitted with a clear inflated brain-shaped balloon: airheads.
4. Billionaires - or Taxdodgers.
5. Bitches, or Cunts (inappropriate: insulting to fornicators, which is a shame since this is a really cool name).
6. Coronas, or the Washington Dead (no one to insult here, move along), or maybe Deadskins? How about the Washington Virus?
7. Gerrymanderers.
8. Fakers.
9. Narcissists. Egomaniacs? Mentals? The Washington Mentallyill (homage to ALL Americans).
10. Homosexuals? Nonbinaries? TheyThemTheir?
11. Wall busters (Mexicans?), ChEYEna (weird way Trump says China) or Washington Wuhans, Pakistanis (as opposed to Indians; “Go Pak ISTANIS!!”).
12. Redsquares, MosCowboys!
