Pick ‘n Slur to Rename Insensitive Teams

It’s looking like the NFL’s Washington, DC franchise is gonna have to finally change their name: corporations want that now; not just American citizens!

Of course I have ideas for a new team name that isn’t insulting to Native Americans. Well, perhaps not as insulting as “Redskins”, and why not pick a different demographic to demean?  I mean, how are us white people going to tolerate our intense insecurity without trashing others?  We can’t name them after ourselves because who can spell Xenophobes, Assholes is inappropriate (insulting to sodomizers - although PepsiCo might wanna create a cola conserving machine called a SodaMiser), Orangemen is taken by Syracuse University, Prevaricators (or just Liars) actually isn’t bad for a DC team, Supremes might taken as a racial slur against Diana Ross or Motown - and should be reserved for Detroit in any case (hey! Maybe DC can take “Lions”, only spelled “Lyin’s”, and Detroit can have this one). Goodpeopleonbothsides - too expensive to stitch that onto every jersey.

Well, here’s some ideas to distribute the slur to other demographics:

1. Maybe move them to Tulsa and call them OK Boomers.
2. Rednecks.
3. Concussers (not a demographic slur, but this is an NFL team after all). Maybe the Braindead, or Flatliners? As a play on Wisconsin cheeseheads, fans could wear hats fitted with a clear inflated brain-shaped balloon: airheads.
4. Billionaires - or Taxdodgers.
5. Bitches, or Cunts (inappropriate: insulting to fornicators, which is a shame since this is a really cool name).
6. Coronas, or the Washington Dead (no one to insult here, move along), or maybe Deadskins? How about the Washington Virus?
7. Gerrymanderers.
8. Fakers.
9. Narcissists. Egomaniacs? Mentals? The Washington Mentallyill (homage to ALL Americans).
10. Homosexuals? Nonbinaries? TheyThemTheir?
11. Wall busters (Mexicans?), ChEYEna (weird way Trump says China) or Washington Wuhans, Pakistanis (as opposed to Indians; “Go Pak ISTANIS!!”).
12. Redsquares, MosCowboys!

Trump stumbles in 1st efforts to control virus response as fear spreads and markets fall

From a recent CNN article (parenthetical responses by me)

Trump's aides and allies have tried to impress upon him the seriousness of the coronavirus situation, warning him of the threat to the global economy and -- by proxy -- his reelection prospects

(Don’t care about “global” economy, but wait, that would include MY economy - so bad, very bad. Reelection prospects threatened? BAD BAD VERY BAD BAD!!)

One House Republican told CNN the falling stock market "was the only metric you needed to look at to see how poorly that was handled."  

(Still not worried about health or lives)

"We trust the President, but we really trust the President's experts. It would be a lot better if publicly they were more aligned"

(Do you? President Trump made 16,241 false or misleading claims in his first three years - The Washington Post)

Mindful that a botched response would spell potential political ruin, efforts have scaled up rapidly in the past several days, and one official said the response was nearing an all-consuming endeavor.

(Re-election prospects in trouble. Again, something of tantamount importance - as opposed to life and death)

Some predict he will suddenly make a rash decision, such as barring incoming flights with people who could be infected. 

(A “rash” decision? Zero doubt he will take that literally, perhaps ordering free talcum powder for all of his provable supporters)

"Trump put Pence in because he thinks Pence will f--- it up"

(Close, but probably more like: This will end f—-ed up so let the 💩 land on Pence)

"I think people trust Pence"

(Only in relationship to the average administration appointee - which re: Pence is still below 1%. Perhaps people trust Pence to f—- up)

Pence made a few additions to the Coronavirus Task Force, including economic adviser Larry Kudlow and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.

(I feel safe now! 😜 😱 😷)

...appointed Deborah L. Birx as White House coronavirus response coordinator... appointed to her current job during the Obama administration

(Uh oh, better brush up your resume Dr. Birx)

...fear for Trump will likely be the continued economic fallout

(MONEY! But don’t forget RE-ELECTION! Either way, he’ll scapegoat someone else and his idiots, I mean supporters, will fall in line)

Whether Trump understands the magnitude of that risk in unclear

(Unclear? I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and guess he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND)

"Such warnings are on TV all the time," the senior official said, "so I imagine he's picked that up."

(OMFG)

Handcuffed Weinstein Sent to Jail After Rape Conviction...

https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/jury-reaches-verdict-in-weinsteins-sex-assault-trial/2287376/

Aw, man. He’s already a hunk, but he’s gonna be totally irresistible to any mate-hunting mammal with that walker! Think they’ll hold him in the Epstein Memorial Cell? Don’t make a mess, Harvey, because hopefully the next malignant narcissist slated for that bed is an admitted germophobe! —> Trump Was Furious That Passengers With Coronavirus Were Brought Back to U.S.